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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191008">28 Days</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothhair/pseuds/mothhair'>mothhair</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rehabilitation, also took this idea from a movie dont sue me, backround jegulus, i dont like proof reading im sorry, i just simply can not be bothered, kind of some sad shit ngl, mentions of drinking, mentions of drug use, sirius and regulus dont hate eachother, some gay shit idk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:40:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothhair/pseuds/mothhair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Siruis Black may be a lot of things but an addict is not one of them. Remus Lupin may be a lot of things but open is not one of them.<br/>In which Sirius is sent to a rehab clinic and meets Remus Lupin. His new roommate that does not talk about himself in group but always has a piece of candy in his mouth. </p><p>(Based on the movie 28 days. Please do not sue me I'm also tweaking this plot a bit to be how I want because I can. I also do not support that terf JK Rowling)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius Black is a lot of things but an addict is not one of them. Yes, he likes to drink but that does not make him a full fledged alcoholic. His father was a drunk. He knows what a real addict looks like and it most certainly is not him. On the other hand, he wasn’t sent to rehab for nothing. In his mind it was everyone else overreacting and blowing things out of proportion.<br/>
In reality, the day of his cousin Andromeda’s wedding could have gone better. Sirius honestly doesn’t remember a good chunk of it. He remembers showing up. Late. He remembers having a few drinks and dancing around with his family, trying to have as much fun as you can with the Black family. Next thing he knows, he’s stumbling out of a limo, covered in cake, suit jacket, tie, and left shoe off, in front of a random house with half the limo in the living room. From what he could gather from what was being said in court, he somehow stumbled into Andy’s wedding cake and smushed the entire thing on the floor. He got up, stumbled outside, stole the limo and drove it into a neighbor's house. Since nobody was actually harmed in the accident and it was a first time offence, the judge sentenced him to at least 28 days in a rehab facility. It was ridiculous. He wasn’t an alcoholic. His father was. His father was a nasty mean drunk and Sirius wasn’t like that at all. When he got drunk he got on tables and danced. The eldest Black brother was the life of the party. Maybe coming from an uptight aristocratic family was born to leave you a little fucked up. Sirius’ younger brother has been in and out of rehab since he was sixteen. Little Reggie turned eighteen two weeks ago and Sirius went to visit him. He loved his brother so much. All they really had was each other anyways.<br/>
When Regulus was born their mother died. Sirius was only one and a half so he doesn’t remember much about her anyways. From what his cousins told him she wasn’t a very nice lady. Very cold and distant. He doesn’t think she even wanted children in the first place anyways. That left the two of them with their father. The walking embodiment of Satan himself. Orion was cold and heartless in Sirius’ opinion. Regulus always tried too hard to impress Orion for his own good. Maybe that was a big part of his downfall at such a young age. Their father was a drunk and more often than not would take out his pent up anger and aggression on his two sons. Sirius always tried to protect Regulus. Jumping in front of him when fathers arm was pulling back for a back hand across the face. He tried his best but little Regulus Black would still go to school with belt welts under his school uniform and fractured ribs that had to heal all by themselves. A teacher once pulled the brothers aside to ask about a black eye Sirius had gotten the same week Regulus had a busted lip. They both lied and said they got carried away while wrestling each other. They must never bring shame onto the Black family name. Never  dragging little four year old Regulus into his bedroom closet when Orion came home. He would scream and yell and throw things around on the floor below while Sirius held onto his little brother and told him funny stories about made up creatures or trying to softly sing him to sleep. This went on until Sirius was fifteen and Regulus had just turned fourteen. Orion had sent Sirius away to a boarding school half way across the country, leaving his brother behind to deal with the full force of Orion's outbursts. When Sirius came back home that summer and saw the state his brother was in he refused to go back and leave Regulus alone. That was the summer Sirius was disowned and thrown out. Still leaving Regulus alone in the dark rooms of 12 Grimmauld Place.<br/>
After that summer Sirius moved in with his cousin Andromeda and her boyfriend Ted. They took him in with open arms with zero hesitation. She was the only other person in the family to break away from their family. He was so thankful to have her in his life. He just wished he could have helped Regulus get out. Even after all of the beatings and screaming and tourture Orion had put Regulus through, Regulus still just wanted to please his father. To not disappoint him and the rest of the family. Deep down Sirius knows all Regulus ever wanted was for their father to love him even though Orion Black was incapable of such a thing. That was also the same summer Sirius started drinking. Just casually when he was out with friends from school or a few glasses of wine at dinner. He can’t pinpoint the moment it all went wrong but he does know that by the end of that summer he woke up in the tub of a strangers house in a dress. Truth be told he thought it was hilarious. That was also the summer Regulus started drinking and experimenting with drugs. He no longer had his brother to help protect him so he found solace in drinking alone in Sirius’ bedroom closet, squeezing his eyes tight and hoping that if he drank enough or took enough pills  it would drown out the sounds of screaming and china dishes breaking in the kitchen below.<br/>
So now here he is. Stepping outside of a cab in the middle of nowhere to his new home for (at least) 28 days. He pushed his shoulder length black hair out of his eyes and lit a fag. He took a long haul before grabbing his bags out of the trunk of the cab and making his way to the front door. “This is fucking ridiculous.” He mumbled to himself, stubbing out the butt of the fag and walking inside.<br/>
“Hello! You must be Sirius right? My name is Alice. Follow me please so we can get you all checked in.” The brunette at the front desk said before turning on her heels and walking into the office across the hall. Sirius simply sighed and followed, lugging his bags behind him. After a solid forty five minutes of signing paperwork and Alice looking through his bags for sharps and drugs, Alice smiled and took his wrist, putting a hospital band around it. “Okay! Now we have you all signed in, I'm going to take you upstairs to your room and you can meet your roommate. Follow me!” She said with another bright smile before showing Sirius upstairs, down a hall and into a room. “Sirius, this is Remus Lupin. Remus, can you just show him around the facility and talk him through everything please?” She asked before walking out of the room, giving Remus no time to answer. Sirius dropped his bags on the floor by the empty bed in the room and finally looked up to see his new roommate. The man on the bed looked to be about his age. Early twenties he would say. Curly mousy brown hair, a lollipop sticking out of his mouth, wearing a sweater two sizes too big and a noticeable purple scar from the corner of his right eye, across his nose and to the middle of his left cheek. Remus looked up from his book and flashes a soft smile before closing his book and setting it down on his bed.<br/>
“Hi. I’m Remus. It’s nice to meet you.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you too man. Sirius.” He said, sticking out his right hand which Remus took and shook. Remus’ smile never left his face as he stood up, straightening out his sweater and shoving some sweets into his pocket.<br/>“I guess I’m showing you around. I know it looks big but it's not that bad. Most of the building is off limits to patients anyways. But we have our own bathroom so it’s not so bad.” Remus said and shrugging, motioning to the bathroom on the other side of the room. “But come on. I’ll show you the group therapy rooms, lunch room, living room and everything else.” He said and motioned for Sirius to follow him, which he did.<br/>“So what’s the deal here man? We can like ... smoke fags and stuff right?” Sirius asked as he followed Remus down the long hallway, plastered floor to ceiling in what looked like patient artwork. Remus just chuckled and nodded, pulling a pack of camels out of his pocket.<br/>“Yeah, we can. We can smoke in our rooms as long as it’s out the window and obviously outside on the grounds. Curfew is at nine every night so we can’t leave the building and go outside past then. Lights out is at eleven so until then you can pretty much do anything else downstairs we just have to be in our rooms by lights out or else you get written up. If you get written up too many times they start taking away privileges. No T.V, no grounds, stuff like that.” He explained and showed him into another room. “So this is where we have group. We meet here every day after breakfast and before dinner. It’s mostly boring shit like coping mechanisms and what not but it’s better than sitting in your room twiddling your thumbs for an hour and a half.” He said with a small smile. Sirius just nodded and looked around the big room. The plastic chairs were all in a circle and the walls were also covered in artwork. Most of it was shit but there were a few good pieces among the shit. “If you have any questions along the way feel free to ask. There isn’t much to show.” Remus said with a shrug and lead Sirius out of the room, back down the hall way and to the stairs. “This is the main living area. We have a T.V but its broken most of the time. Some board games that are missing pieces and some books about staying clean, which I think is morbid and depressing but to each their own I guess. Lunch started a few minutes ago so I can show you the lunchroom and the rest after we eat?” He asked and Sirius just nodded. He didn’t have much to say. He did not want to be here at all. He didn’t belong here with these people. He wanted to go back home with Andy and Ted. With his friends and having fun. Not moping around here pretending to feel sorry for himself.<br/>Remus lead Sirius to the lunchroom and after they both grabbed trays of food. Disgusting. This was basically glorified hospital food. Okay, maybe Sirius was a bit of a snob but what do you expect when you come from a family like the Blacks. Your whole life you’re taught to be proper and how to sit and walk and act in front of people. This included many fancy meals he was used to. Even living with Andy there was better food than this. She was still a Black at heart anyways. Sirius made a face at the food on his plate but kept his head down as he sat in the empty chair next to Remus. “Everyone, this is Sirius. Sirius, this is everyone.” Remus said before shoving a pile of chunky mashed potatoes into his mouth. Sirius sighed and looked up, flashing everyone a small forced smile.<br/>“Hey! I’m James. Coke. That's Lily. She’s in here for drinking.” James explained. Sirius just watched as he went around the table introducing everyone else simply by pointing and outing why they were a fuck up. Nobody seemed to mind though so he tried not to react. “That's Marls. She's a major pill head.” James said which ended up with him getting hit in the head with a bread roll.<br/>“I’m not a pill head! I only take Adderall and Xanax. I highly doubt that qualifies.” The blonde with curly blonde hair said and laughed. “Don’t mind Jamie. I think all that coke clogged up the oxygen to his brain.” She laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. James only rolled his eyes and continued around the table.<br/>“ANYWAYS..like I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. Frankie over there took too much acid so he’s a little perma fried. Good guy though. And we have Reggie but he’s always late for meals. He’s here for drinking, pills, and a wee bit of heroin.” James said and looked around for the lost Reggie. It made Sirius’ chest tight and his stomach dropped. All he could think of was his brother. He missed him. A lot. Sure, he saw him not too long ago for his birthday but it wasn’t for more than an hour. “Speak of the devil! Here he comes. REGGIE!” James shouted, causing Sirius to jump slightly, pulling him out of his own self wallowing thoughts. “Reggie this is Sir-” James started but by the time Sirius looked up he was being tackled to the floor by a mop of curly black hair.<br/>“SIRIUS! I’ve missed you so much! What the hell are you doing here?” Regulus yelled as he held onto his older brother for dear life. Sirius took a second to process what was going on before tightly wrapping his arms around his little brother.<br/>“A whole shit show of a story. I missed you too. Why the hell are you here? I thought you were at the clinic in Bristol?” Sirius asked, pulling away from the hug to get a good look at his brother. Sure, it had only been two weeks since he saw him last but it felt like a lifetime. Regulus just smiled back and shrugged.<br/>“I got transferred 3 days after you came to visit. I wrote and told you! I sent it out a week ago!” Regulus explained and frowned slightly. Maybe Sirius did get the letter. Maybe he didn’t. The past week felt like a blur. Andy’s wedding was 5 days ago. Court was 2 days ago. He thinks. The days just seemed to blend together at this point. He felt bad. He was Regulus’ big brother he should know when his brother gets transferred or about anything else going on in his life. Granted, not much could be happening to him in rehab but the statement still counts. He should be up to date on everything going on in his brother's life.<br/>“Oh Jesus Reggie, I’m sorry. I don’t think I've checked my mail since court.” Sirius said and frowned at his little brother. They both got off the floor and brushed the dirt off their clothes like the proper little posh boys they were raised to be.<br/>“When the fuck did you have to go to court?” Regulus asked with a laugh, sitting down between James. Sirius took the seat between his brother and Remus and shrugged.<br/>“It’s a long story that I’ll tell you about later.” Sirius said and slowly started eating the filth they called food at this fucking clinic. Neither of the boys noticed the rest of the table had been staring at them the whole time until Remus just chuckled around a mouth full of cake. James was staring at them both with his mouth open in shock.<br/>“THIS is the brother you tell us about?” James asked and looked back to Regulus who just smiled and nodded, continuing to eat his food. He was having a much easier time getting it down than Sirius was. Maybe it was just because he had already been here for a week or so. Sirius just hopes it gets less horrific each meal.<br/>After lunch Remus finished the tour of the clinic with Sirius which included, the mini shop (which thankfully had candy, fags and gum), the one on one therapy rooms if anyone needed it, the barns out on the grounds area. Growing up him and Regulus were taught how to ride horses but never actually had to take care of them. They hired people to do that. Their father just said it was something all “noble” boys were to do. It showed class or some bullshit. Sirius however, hates those fucking horses. They always tried to buck him off and throw him out of the little ring.<br/>Once they were both back in their room Remus sat on his bed and pulled out another lollipop. He popped it in his mouth and picked his book back up while Sirius unpacked.<br/>“So what are you in here for anyways?” Remus asked without looking up from his book, flipping a page. Sirius stayed quiet for a while and simply shrugged.<br/>“I guess I like to drink..” Sirius mumbled, looking over at Remus, shoving his clothes into the tiny dresser he had next to his own bed. “What’s with you and the candy mate? Fags just not doing it enough for you?” Sirius joked. It made Remus chuckle and Sirius smiled. Remus had a nice little laugh.<br/>“Heroin addict. If you have a strong craving you gotta do something to take the edge off. The sugar has a similar effect on the brain. Plus if you think about it, candy is basically drugs for little kids.” Remus said, slighting tugging down the sleeves to his oversized sweater. On anyone else Sirius would like it was a crime against fashion. A giant old grandpa sweater with some major wear and tear. On Remus? It looked amazing. It just fit him. Not literally of course. That goddamn sweater was still far too big on him but fit him non the less.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>! MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been three whole days since Sirius arrived at the clinic and he’s slowly but surely getting used to the schedule around here. Remus walks him to and from the group therapy sessions and they all sit together like they did on the first day. It was nice to have Remus around. It was also nice to have Regulus around all the time. His room with James was only two doors down the hall. Sirius hasn’t been able to see Regulus on a regular basis since the summer he got disowned. Regulus would come around to Andromeda’s house once and a while to spend the day but it was never really enough time. Then, when Reggie turned sixteen things started going down hill. Orion started to send him away to a bunch of different clinics and facilities. Regulus’ problem was getting more and more noticeable, so instead of letting him stay around the house and be an utter disgrace to the very Noble House of Black, he shipped him off to be hidden away from the world and avoid bringing shame to the family name. Apparently Orion had a thing with sweeping things under the carpet when things turned ugly. It wasn’t all that bad though. Shipping away both of his sons means they weren’t around anymore when his drinking got out of hand. Now the brothers live down the hall from one another just like when they were children. <br/>Remus walked out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand as he rushed around the room to find clothes. Today was visitation day. First one since either of the Black brothers had been there so they both got to see Andromeda. It was nerve wracking. Sirius didn’t see Andy at all after the incident at her wedding. Regulus hasn’t seen her at all in the past three months he's been away. Every stay Regulus did was only four weeks long but the second he would get out, in four days or less he’d go back to using and end up right back in another clinic. Sirius did feel bad about what happened at the wedding. Yes, he thought the judge and everyone else was being over dramatic talking about how he had a drinking problem, but at the same time he knew he really fucked up and ruined his favorite cousin’s wedding day. Remus changed his sweater in the bathroom while he finished brushing his teeth and ran around looking for his shoes. Sirius chucked and threw both of his Doc Martens on Remus’ bed. “What’s got your panties in a twist? Who’s coming to see you today?” He asked, slipping on his own boots. <br/>“My grandma is coming today. She usually doesn’t come to visit when I'm away but she wrote me and told me she was coming so I want to look nice for her. She’s really the only family I have left so I just want to make her proud.” Remus said, brushing out his wavy hair. Sirius nodded and stood up from his own bed. <br/>“I’m sure everything will go fine. I’ll see you later though yeah? Still on to go raid the kitchen and watch a bad horror movie downstairs tonight?” Sirius asked, grabbing his pack of fags and a lighter from his own dresser. Remus peaked his head out from the bathroom door and nodded. <br/>“Yeah of course man. Sounds like a plan. Tell your cousin I said hello.” The taller boy said before dipping off back into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Sirius just smiled to himself before heading out the door and down the hall to Regulus and James’ room. He stood in the doorway and knocked on the wooden frame before peering inside. Another house rule. No doors closed until after curfew and when everyone was supposed to be in bed. <br/>“Coming!” The younger Black brother yelled before running to the door with a smile on his face. It was nice to see his brother smile. He never did much of it at home. How could you when you lived in your own personal hell. Regulus didn’t really change all that much the past few years. He got a little taller but was still shorter than Sirius. Most things looked the same except for the obvious weight loss. His cheeks were slightly more hollowed out and his eye bags more prominent, but he was still “little Black” nonetheless. Sirius smiled at his brother as they headed down the stairs to wait for Andromeda. As each minute passed while waiting for her, Sirius slowly became a nervous wreck. He just didn’t want Andy to be mad and not let him come back to her house when he got out. It was the only home he had now and he really did not want to fuck this one up. Regulus watched his brother nervously bounce in his seat and put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “Just relax a little would ya?” He said and leaned back in his own chair. The day Sirius was admitted he told Regulus the whole story later that night. It was mostly from what Sirius heard in court but he got the picture. Sirius looked at his brother and sighed, running a hand through his curly black hair and leaned back in his seat. He bounced his knee for a few minutes before he saw a familiar mop of hair walk through the front door and over to the sign in desk. Regulus smiled and shot up, running over to his cousin before Sirius could register that he finally had to face her. <br/>Andromeda looked up with a cheery smile on her face, instantly pulling Regulus into a big hug and kissing him on the cheek. Sirius slowly got up from his chair and made his way over to the two of them, keeping his head down and watching his feet as they dragged him across the room. Andromeda just smiled at Sirius and pulled him into a tight warm hug. “I’m not mad at you Siri. I was worried about you. I’m still worried about you but I hope you know that you being here is what’s best for you right now.” She whispered in his ear as she hugged him. Sirius felt tears start forming in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her tightly and hugged her back. She wasn’t mad. Disappointed maybe, but not mad. He sighed into her shoulder and pulled back from the hug to smile at her. She just smiled back before grabbing her purse off the counter. “Now why don’t you two show me around and tell me what you’ve been up to yeah?” She asked as they led her out of the main building and onto the grounds.<br/>The next two hours passed by much too quickly if you asked Sirius. They showed her around the grounds and talked about their group sessions and all the new friends they had both made in the clinic.  Before he knew it they both hugged Andromeda goodbye, who promised to come back in two weeks when the next visitation was. Two weeks seemed so far away but it wasn’t forever. Sirius could deal with life in here for two more weeks if it meant Andy would come back. The oldest brother headed back up stairs to his own room once Regulus went off to go find James. It was already dark out which meant it was almost time for ice cream and movies with Remus. He walked back into his room, tossing his jacket on the bed. “Remus! Are you almost ready man? I wanna get down to the kitchen before Frank eats all the strawberry ice cream again!” He called out. Once he received no answer he frowned and quietly knocked on the bathroom door. “Remus?” He asked but once again got no response. The sink was running so he knew the taller boy was in there. He probably had his headphones on again, lost in his own little world of David Bowie. Sirius opened the door anyways to try and get his attention which was maybe the worst thing he could have done. Before he could say anything else he looked down and saw one of the worst sights he’s ever seen. Remus was curled into the corner of the bathroom floor, head tucked into one arm with a broken piece of glass from the mirror in his hand. Sirius looked down at him and his heart sank. Remus’ had his pants and sweater off and three gashes drawn across his left thigh. Once Sirius registered what was going on he grabbed a towel off the hook and got onto the floor next to the other boy. “O-Okay it’s okay” He stuttered out and slowly took the glass out of Remus’ hand. The other boy just hiccupped in response and looked up for the first time. His eyes were puffy and red. His skin was all splotchy, probably from crying for god knows how long. His hands were shaking when Sirius took the glass away and wrapped the towel around his leg.<br/>“S-She didn’t come..” Remus said quietly, wiping his face with the sleeve from his sweater. “I-I waited all d-day for her and she didn’t show up.” He said with a quiet shaky voice, shutting his eyes tight to keep more tears from flowing down his red cheeks. Sirius frowned and carefully pushed some of his mousy brown hair from his face and pulled him into a hug. Remus just hiccupped and shoved his face into Sirius’ neck. <br/>“O-Okay you stay here I'm going to get some he-” Sirius started but cut off when Remus tensed and started frantically shaking his head.<br/>“N-NO! You can’t tell anyone! They’ll send me to psych and I won’t get to stay here anymore! I-I can’t get kicked out again you can’t tell.” Remus frantically said, tears starting to flow down his cheeks once more. Sirius frowned but just nodded, slowly sitting next to Remus on the floor and pulling him into another hug while wiping down his leg with the towel. <br/>“Okay..okay I won’t tell anyone. Alright? But you gotta let me help you clean this up.” He said slowly. Remus only nodded in response, leaning back against the wall as Sirius cleaned up the rest of the glass from the floor and grabbed the mini first aid kit from under the sink. Once he started cleaning Sirius finally noticed the other scars scattering his legs. Most were old, probably years old. Some were mostly from before Remus was admitted. In between his scars his legs were littered with track marks. The same went for his arms. Sirius never actually saw Remus’ arms. He always wore his big chunky grandpa sweaters and got changed in the bathroom every morning. Now Sirius knew why.<br/>After twenty minutes of cleaning off Remus’ leg and getting him back into their bedroom and onto his own bed, Sirius sat on the ledge of their window. He lit a fag and took a long haul before looking back at Remus. Remus looked back up at him and lit his own fag with a deep sigh. “I-I...I wasn’t trying to off myself or anything if that’s what you were thinking..It just makes me feel better I guess..” He said quietly and looked down at his lap, taking a long haul. “You promise you won’t tell anyone? You can’t even tell Regulus okay?” <br/>“Yeah. I promise Remus. It’s okay you don’t have to worry.” Sirius said and flashed him a small smile. He couldn’t really blame the poor kid for what he was doing. When he was a kid, anytime his father was drinking and screaming at the pictures on the wall, sometimes Sirius would lock himself in his room and punch himself in the legs. Maybe it was to distract himself from the noise below. Sometimes it was just because he didn’t get to Regulus in time to jump in front of Orion’s fist, so he felt like he had to punish himself for not saving his baby brother. As he grew up he ended up stopping. He had other things to focus on, like helping Regulus ice a black eye or cleaning up the broken glass in the living room and kitchen. He understood why Remus felt like he needed an emotion release but it didn’t make his heart and stomach hurt any less. Remus was such a kind and amazing person and it hurt Sirius to know he thought so little of himself he felt the need to do what he did. He would never ever hold it against him though. Never. Sirius slowly sat down on Remus’ bed and pulled him into another hug before sitting back and running a hand through his hair.<br/>“When me and Regulus were younger..Our father would beat the living shit out of us. I'm talking full on punches and back handed smacks with his ring on. So, I always tried to hide Regulus away somewhere in the house and take most of the fall out. But you know..sometimes I wouldn’t get home in time or I would find him too late. I hated myself for it because it’s my job to protect him ya know? It was my job to make sure that didn’t happen so when it did..I took it out on myself. I would punch myself as hard as I could in the legs until I couldn’t walk. I’d throw myself into walls to make myself hurt as much as Regulus did. He was just a kid you know..he didn’t deserve any of the shit our father did to us. I felt so guilty when I knew I could have stopped it. So I hurt myself to try and make myself feel better.” Sirius explained. He didn’t even notice he had been holding Remus’ hand the entire time. He also didn’t notice his hands were starting to tremble as he talked. He never told anyone about what went on within the walls of Grimmauld Place. Not that he ever had to. Andy knew what was going on without anyone having to tell her. Remus frowned and gave Sirius’ hand a squeeze before giving him a smile. <br/>“Thank you Sirius..” The mousy haired boy said quietly. The rest of the night they sat on Remus’ bed, listening to David Bowie, saying nothing until they both drifted off to sleep. Sirius has officially decided he liked Remus. Really liked him in fact. Apparently they had more in common than either of them ever noticed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHILD ABUSE AND DRUG OVERDOSE</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One week. It has officially been one whole week since Sirius was admitted into the clinic and things are honestly going better than he ever would have thought. He’s also gotten closer to Remus in that time. It has been four days since he found him on the bathroom floor. They were okay friends before that but after that night they were almost never seen apart. Every meal time. Every group session. Anytime someone saw them in the hallway. Remus learned that sometimes Sirius will have nightmares. He’s not sure about what but he feels like he has a good idea. When Sirius wakes up in a panic and can’t breathe Remus will slide into his bed and read him parts of whatever he’s reading until he falls back asleep. Nobody knows that part though. Not even Regulus. Sirius still doesn’t know much about Remus’ past but that doesn’t matter. He’s a good friend and a good person all around. His past shouldn’t define him. He would hate if Remus judged him on his past because Sirius has made some big mistakes before. They were there for each other. It was nice to know he had someone to look out for him. He spent his whole life making sure Regulus was okay and out of harm's way but somewhere down the line he forgot to look out for himself. That was one of the many downfalls of Sirius Black. <br/>	The therapist looked at Sirius from her seat behind her desk and he hated it. He could feel her eyes burning through his skin as she tried to read every little part of him. “Mr. Black you have been here for a whole week now. How are things going for you? It must be nice to see your brother and I’ve been told you and Mr. Lupin have grown close.” She said, looking down at her chart of god knows what. Well, Sirius knows what. A chart all about him. It’s what’s exactly on the chart he doesn’t know. <br/>	“It’s been okay.” He said flatly, looking down at his lap and picking at a loose hangnail from his thumb. <br/>	“Well Sirius...I know you’re in here for alcoholism. I’ve talked to your cousin Andromeda and she seemed very concerned for your well being. She said that addiction like that runs in your family. She told me your father was an alcoholic and so was your mother.” She said slowly, looking back down at his chart. Sirius could feel his heart rate pick up at the thought of his father. Yes, he is a drunk and a worthless excuse of a human. His mother on the other hand, he didn’t know anything about. Especially that she was also a drunk. <br/>	“Yeah well.. My dad isn’t exactly the happiest person on the planet.” Sirius mumbled and looked out the window.<br/>	“Do you think that’s why he drinks? Because he’s unhappy?” <br/>	“Of course that’s why he drinks. My mother died giving birth to Regulus when I was a baby. He was left to deal with the two of us all alone.” Sirius snapped, shooting his head around to meet her eyes again. “Nobody that’s happy with their lives does the things he did.” <br/>	“Do you drink because you’re unhappy Sirius?” She asked. He just stared at her for a few seconds, balling his fists up so tight his knuckles turned white. The second he felt tears starting to form in his eyes he turned his head away, looking back out the window. The wind was blowing the trees outside. He saw Lily reading a book under a tree and James and Regulus sat up in said tree. Regulus had a big smile plastered on his face as James waved his arms around, probably telling some kind of story. Regulus looked happy. Really happy. He doesn’t think he’s seen Regulus smile that much in a very very long time. Sirius cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes before his eyes settled back on the floor. <br/>	“You know when I was little, my father used to um...lock me and Regulus in the closet as punishment. I never understood why because we never actually did anything wrong. Then when I got older I realized he did it because he couldn’t look at us. Andromeda and my other cousin Bella always said we looked a lot like our mother. Our dad has these really dark dark brown eyes but me and Reggie have these really blue ones ya know? Mine are-are this really bright blue and Reggie’s are this really dim blue color. They’re almost grey. Our mother had blue eyes and the same nose Reggie has and the same smile I have. He locked us away so he wouldn’t have to look at us and see his dead wife. I mean who does that to their kids? I was five and Reggie was barely four years old an-and he would leave us in there for hours while he tried to drink himself to death.” Sirius said and sniffled, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. He kept his head down as he cleared his throat, chewing on the dry skin on his lips. “The first time he ever hit me.. I was six and I just got home from school. He was already home and already drunk. He just...just started screaming at both of us because our beds weren’t made and he smacked me across the face. He hit me so hard I had this massive bruise for a week. After that it became an everyday thing you know? Or if we got home before he came home from work I would lock me and Reggie in the closet in my room. It was this big walk-in closet with all my toys and more clothes than any six year old should have. I would lock us in there and hide in the back corner and I would read Reggie these books Andromeda gave me for my birthday. Our dad would be downstairs breaking things and screaming at nobody and Reggie would start to shake because he wanted to cry but he didn’t want us to get caught. So he would just...shake. Like when you’re so scared you can’t make any noise and your whole body starts to shake from fear. He was five years old and shaking because our father, the man that was supposed to love us and take care of us was a monster. Poor Reggie still to this day can’t be alone for more than an hour. H-He starts to panic and will have these full blown panic attacks if he’s left alone. No happy man does that to his children. No man causes that much trauma to his kids at such a such a young fucking age they still can’t deal with it when they’re older. Regulus is eighteen and can’t be left alone without freaking out. I’m almost twenty and I'm still aware of how loud my footsteps are and how loud I talk. No decent human being does that to his own fucking children! They just don't. So yes, my father drank because he was a miserable, sorry excuse for a man. I drink be-because I can’t get his voice out of my head. I can still hear him screaming and I can still hear the-the sound his fist made when it hit Regulus’ cheek. I can still hear the dishes breaking and the way Reggie's teeth would chatter and his shaky breath from hiding in that goddamn fucking closet for hours on end. I drink because...because it hurts. It hurts so much to hear that in the back of my head and be reminded of that fucking house of horrors and it hurts to think about all the times I should have gotten home quicker to hide Regulus before he got home.” Sirius looked down at his shirt and it was wet. Everything was wet. His shirt, his hands, little droplets on his pants and his face. His face was soaking wet. He reached up and tried to wipe his cheeks and eyes but the tears just kept falling. He didn’t even notice he started crying. He wasn’t an angry or mean drunk like his father was but that didn’t change the fact he still drank as much as he did. Sirius took a shaky breath and stood up, walking out of the room without another word. He just kept walking and walking until he was outside and walking off onto one of the paths into the woods. He kept walking until he couldn’t walk anymore and when that happened he just collapsed onto the ground. Sirius fell to the ground and started sobbing. His whole body shook as he screamed into his hands, letting out the years and years of built up emotions he refused to deal or think about. He cried until he ran out of tears and stood up, pacing around in one spot for a few moments before closing his fist and swinging at a tree. He huffed and pulled back again and again and again, until his knuckles were bloody and he ran out of energy. He wished Remus was here. Remus always seemed to make things better no matter what the situation was. Sirius sighed and sat down against the tree and looked at his now bruised and bloody hand, taking a deep shaky breath before pulling his knees to his chest. The sun was starting to set which meant that he had to go back to the clinic. Maybe go see the nurse to fix his hand but he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He was a mess. Which means only one person could help him without making him feel ashamed or judging him. Just one person. <br/>	Remus’ head shot up when he heard someone walk into the room and shut the door. There in the doorway was a very disheveled Sirius Black, holding a bloody hand up to his chest. Remus frowned and jumped out of his bed, rushing over and carefully taking Sirius’ hand into his own. “Where the hell have you been? I looked all around for you and I couldn’t find you anywhere. What happened to your hand?” He asked and gently lead Sirius into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet before grabbing a wet cloth to wipe some of the dirt and blood off of the shorter boy's hand. Sirius just shrugged and cracked a small smile. <br/>	“Got into a pretty heated fight with a tree. He was looking at me weird. Had to teach him a lesson.” He joked. Remus gave him a small smile before pouring some peroxide on the wounds, making Sirius hiss and wince in pain. “Jesus, I thought you had some magical touch Lupin. This does not feel very magical to me.” <br/>	“Oh shut up. It’ll be over in a second. I gotta make sure you don’t get an infection so we won’t have to cut your hand off. Drama queen.” Sirius just smiled and kept his hand held out as Remus wrapped some gauze around his hand and finished it off with some tape . “See? All better.” He said gave Sirius’ thigh a little pat before standing up. <br/>	“Thanks Remus.” Sirius said quietly and held onto Remus’ hand a little tighter. “I uh… I was in therapy today and got kind of worked up. You know I'm starting to think I might be a little bit of an addict.” He joked with a soft chuckle. Remus just smiled and squeezed his hand back before leading him out of the bathroom and over to his bed. They both laid down and Sirius just curled into Remus’ side, gripping onto the rough fabric of his sweater. Remus wrapped his long arms around Sirius and buried his face into his curly black hair. <br/>	“I was in a car accident when I was little.” Remus said quietly, running his thumbs over Sirius' arm. “I was driving home with my parents and this crazy storm hit. My dad swerved off the road and into the trees...I don’t really remember the crash but I remember when I woke up my mum was through the windshield and my dad had uh...he had a branch through his face.” He explained slowly, subconsciously tightening his grip on Sirius. “A piece of glass hit me in the face and I had all this blood pouring from my face. It took two hours for anyone to find us and get help and for those two hours I was just screaming at my parents to wake up and they uh..they never did. I was six.” He explained, voice cracking towards the end. Sirius didn’t look up but he knew Remus was holding back his tears. “After that I went to live with my grandma and when I was thirteen I got caught up with the wrong people and they told me drinking and doing all these drugs would help me forget what happened. Obviously it didn’t but when I tried heroin for the first time, it was the first time since the accident those memories weren’t eating me alive. My body and brain would just go numb and I felt so at peace. So, I just kept doing it until my grandma found me on my bedroom floor, unresponsive, with a needle sticking out of my arm and laying in a pool of my own vomit. I’m only nineteen and I've been admitted to three different clinics, eight times since I was seventeen. Regulus told me what your dad did and I just wanted to let you know that drinking doesn’t do anything but put a pause on the things you should be dealing with. It doesn’t make them go away.” His voice was just above a whisper but Sirius heard every single word and he started to cry. Cry for Remus and himself and Regulus. He just clung onto Remus’ sweater tighter and sobbed into his chest. Remus just hugged him tightly and cried into his hair. He was right. Drinking didn’t solve anything, it just distracted him until it wore off and it hurt bad. It hurt really fucking bad.</p>
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